Let's talk about...

WENDY
Winnipeg asked me yesterday why I hated her so much.
This compelled me to compile a list of the reasons why I don't like her at all, with reasons.
Mr Ang would be proud.

WHY I DON'T LIKE WENDY SIMMS, DNA TECH. FROM WIDELY ACCLAIMED SHOW, CSI:
10) She is a busybody.
[Wendy constantly wants to know how her input of DNA results will affect a case, etc.,etc. Also take note of the Lab Rats episode!]

9) She is irritating.
[WHY IS SHE ALWAYS ASKING STUPID/RHETORICAL/NOSEY QUESTIONS???
Honestly. And her wannabe-ness! Good Lord.]

8) She is skanky/slutty.
[Why are her tops so LOW-CUT?! Hello, you can barely see the neckline of her tops when she's wearing the protocol Forensics Lab lab coat, which, by the way, is like practically mid-chect in terms of neckline length. Girlie, this is a respectable crime lab, NOT a Strip Club. And what's with your hooker-for-hire 'dos???]

7) "I also took the liberty of..."
[WENDY, WENDY, WENDY. When are you going to learn that going the extra mile is NOT going to get you a freaking standing ovation? And no need to sound all jaded and weary
when you're announcing it! Have some humble pie!]

6) The 'Date' (?!) with Greg.
[You should be utterly ASHAMED of yourself for using the DNA results as bait to lure Greg into buying dinner for you! Those results could have totally made or broke the case! And anyway, using DNA results as lure is just plain morally wrong!!! You get friggin' PAID to squirt DNA samples into tiny little plastic bottles with a micropipette! You don't NEED Greg, who is only a CSI Level One, by the way, so he probably makes less than YOU DO, to buy
you DINNER. So please, do us all CSI fans a favour and go curl up and DIE.]

5) Flirtations with Hodges.
[Four words: OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. Further than Greggo, even! I mean, look at it this way: Hodges is in Trace. Wendy, you're in DNA. And Greg is a CSI. All three of you come from different worlds. So really. Do the Romance Math. Result is like 0% chance. Or even lower, like in the negative range.]

4) Breaking CatNip up.
[First she asks Catherine out {can you say LESBIAN ALERT?!}. Then she constantly smiles at Nicky. Neither of them deserves nine-day-old porridge, thanks!]

3) Trying too hard.
[There will only BE one funny, smug, kiss-ass lab rat: HODGES. I know you like him, Wendy, but you don't need to mimick him and be all, "SO. Did I crack your case?" The answer will always be "NO."]

2) Amount of screentime owned!
[Why is she appearing in like 90% of all episodes??? She is taking away EXTREMELY valuable screentime from all the hot CSIs and ships, e.g. GSR, CatNip, Sandle!]

1) Wendy is not funny, worthy of admiration OR good-looking.
[And being on a show where everyone else IS? Yeah, that's how you end up on hate-lists like this one.]


Don't like?
Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS.
Thanks for the inspiration, Winnipeg! <3